I have lost count of how many times over the past few months that I contemplated writing about creating space, stepping back and letting go. It has definitely been a recurring theme for me and very much in line with my word (and philosophy) for the year.
After just over 6 months of navigating this journey with all of its twists and turns, I have learned so much and am on the way to understanding what the process of letting go really entails. Like most things, it’s one thing to talk it - it’s another to actually do it. And it’s another thing again to let go and move through the surrendering process with an open heart.
If we were having a sit down in one of my favourite cafes in nature and sharing a pot of green tea I’d say something like “Wow, what a 6 months that has been! Let me tell you what I’ve been doing and what I’ve learned.” And of course I’d want to know all about what’s been going on for you too!
A lot has been happening – at times quite challenging and at times somewhat easier.
Everywhere I look I keep getting messages about letting go, shedding, paring back, de-engineering, keeping things simple and un-complicating things. The overall theme of the messages has been clear – this is my year to take care of any unfinished business, to clean house and to make room for new things. It’s time to let it all go and make way for the new – and yet the original, the authentic – me.
This was what I called what I was about to embark upon in 2015. It involved letting go of many things:
- Trying to control everything
- Living in the past and worrying about the future
- Physical “stuff” crowding me out of my house
- Ineffective programming and limiting beliefs – including lots of fears
- A false sense of identity created by my ego and the various “roles” I have had
- Old emotional scars
- Spiritual baggage
- Unresolved issues
The biggest challenges
The overall process of surrender has possibly been one of the hardest lessons. It has meant letting go of control. Letting go of order. Letting go of everything I thought was right. Learning to be comfortable with vulnerability. Letting go of specifying what, needing to know how and determining when. Releasing attachments to “what was” in order to allow “what can be” to reveal itself. Letting go and trusting.
Being truly present has been a new skill to learn along the way. Moving from The Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) to something far more empowering – The Joy Of Missing Out (JOMO). Getting the balance right between being, doing and having.
“We often over-complicate our lives wanting what’s over the next hill instead of feeling grateful for what we already have and loving the present moment for its ultimate reality. We look for complicated solutions whilst distrusting simplicity. We live in a culture that is often dismissive of ancient wisdom while not listening enough to our bodies or our instincts. We rarely take time to look and listen deeply to see that all creation vibrates with life and is eternally connected and communicating in its own way.”
And another key challenge for me has been learning to be comfortable that each step reveals the next. And perhaps more importantly, being at peace that the next step may only be visible at the conclusion of the current step. Thus the whole journey may not be evident.
“So how’s that been working?”
This was one of the questions that got me started on the journey I’ve described above, so it’s worth asking again.
Firstly I have had some significant physical changes. Before I started I was burnt out and feeling very unhealthy - stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted. I was more overweight than I cared to admit and definitely feeling my age.
My son (a personal trainer and boxer) introduced me to an amazing nutritional cleansing system – a key part of my overall multi-level cleanse. And I’ve even started exercising too!
Since Christmas I have not only donated 24 kg back to the Universe, I also have my mojo back! I’m totally revitalised with bags of energy, sleeping better, feeling and looking younger.
This has put me back into a position where I can seriously contemplate and set some goals for the next 40 years. Specifically, I want to help a million+ people to live a life they truly love – healthy, wealthy, joyful, looking good & feeling great.
I have certainly been focussing on my true highest values, my “big rocks” – and in the process, feeling truly rewarded and fulfilled. And at the end of the day, isn’t that all that anyone wants i.e. to live a life you truly love? It has also helped me to develop a much deeper connection with Source, to live more authentically, with presence and clarity.
In my business much has changed as I have been letting go of the old to make way for the new. This has involved changing some unwieldy processes, dumping poorly utilised technology and focussed on developing and maintaining belly-to-belly relationships.
Some things haven’t changed. For example, I have still been:
- Helping clients to get focussed and get their businesses working more for them as Higher Purpose Businesses;
- Writing blogs and articles for various publications including WNA and Working Women.
And others have. For example, I have started a new business in partnership with my son and also commenced writing a book in collaboration with an old contact that serendipity brought us back together.
So what are the key lessons?
I’ll write about this in another blog in due course, but for now here is a snapshot of some of the major lessons I have learned thus far.
1) The Butterfly Effect is real. In other words a very small change in initial conditions creates a significantly different outcome. So starting somewhere, no matter how small the change, is what counts. And if you are unsure about where to start, start with the path of least resistance.
"When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe." ~ John Muir
2) Your work in letting go is simply to place your trust and faith in what you cannot yet see. The most important thing you must do is take whatever one step (even the tiniest one) that presents itself in that moment. As you take that step the next one will appear. It’s like driving on a country road at night – you can only see just ahead of you what is in the headlights of the car and you trust that the road will be revealed as you keep driving.
3) Letting go is part of your spiritual evolution. Fear will only arise through this process if you hold attachments or needs around certain people or circumstances. But when you release the attachments you are guided to reconnect with the power that lies within you.
4) If your life is so full and “busy” with what you think your plans should be, it doesn’t leave room for any guidance from what is in your heart, from Source or from the Universe. There needs to be space and stillness for you to hear, feel and receive the very subtle signs of what is truly right for you – not what your mind thinks is right for you.
It’s not about understanding or making sense of what is unfolding. The answer lies in your ability to become present, get still and tune in to your body to feel the inherent wisdom held within your sensations, feelings and energy. Your body has a wisdom you probably cannot yet appreciate.
5) If you are not making room for what is right for your heart and soul, the Universe will manifest circumstances to ensure that you are. And these particular signals from the Universe are not normally so subtle.
6) Any time you are letting go, you are just making room for something even more magnificent to flow into your life. So you should get excited about what is coming rather than mourning the loss of what was. Your life is upgrading!