Too Much of a Good Thing

It’s March already – that’s 17% of the year nearly gone!  Can someone please tell me exactly where has it gone?

I’m sure you’ve heard that most New Year’s resolutions don’t survive beyond the end of February – if they even make it that far!

And if you did happen to map out the “perfect” year and schedule all the activities that will lead to your big annual goals, how are you going with finding the time and energy to do it all?

And if perhaps you’re not doing too well along that path, are you beating yourself up for it? The pressure to map out the perfect year can actually lead to greater anxiety.

I’m a huge advocate in planning and goal setting - but can you do too much of it? I’m coming to the conclusion that you can actually overdo it.

So many of the goals we set are goals around having or doing things. You might be reflecting on the first 2 months of the year and saying to yourself, “I certainly got a lot done, but what’s it all for?

It’s around about this time that you might also start asking yourself “What’s my higher calling?”,  “What am I supposed to be doing with my life?” and “How do I stop spinning my wheels and get serious about my purpose for being on this planet?”

The more relevant question is actually “Who am I meant to BE?”

Or you might already feel you have found your answers and no longer have to worry about the burning “What’s my purpose?” question. But here’s the irony…when our purpose is external to ourselves, if we tie our purpose or meaning to our vocation, goal or an activity, we could be setting ourselves up for a fall somewhere down the line.

This doesn’t negate your burning passion, your inspired mission, your job, your business, your family, your community contribution, etc. Those things are powerful, worthwhile and essential - but are they your purpose?

Let me explain…

I’m certainly not saying that you shouldn’t feed the starving, house the homeless, rescue those at risk, protect the environment, empower women, educate the ignorant or any other worthwhile activity that adds worth and value to our global community.

What I do mean is that you don’t need to connect your personal self-worth (or self-acceptance, self-love etc.) with those activities. It’s because your self-worth has nothing to do with your skills, vocation or achievements and everything to do with how you treat yourself. Your purpose may be very different than what you’ve been taught to believe by societal programming and inherited paradigms.

If your work isn’t appreciated, if your efforts are overlooked or criticised, if you don’t get the client, if people don’t value what you do, if you give and don’t get thanked in return, if someone “un-friends” you on social media – well, that’s what sometimes happens. And if you’ve tied your worth to any of those things then you will only feel deflated, depleted or depressed.

But if you have connected your purpose within, it’s a whole different story. For example, it could be that your purpose is to be kind to yourself and to love yourself unconditionally, thus elevating your energy and positively impacting on the world around you. Or it could be to take impeccable care of yourself so that you have the energy to serve others.

Or perhaps it’s to heal yourself and then becoming a mentor and role model for others to do the same.

Your purpose is only partly about what you do. It’s mostly about discovering who you truly are at your deepest levels, and to nurture and love yourself in the process. It’s about learning that just being your authentic self is enough.

Full stop.

There are plenty of brilliant people who may have a lot to offer but who are messed up inside and unable to be really effective at their chosen cause. Imagine what they could accomplish if they knew that no matter how important their mission, their inner purpose matters even more?

By all means cherish your work, your hobbies and your passions. You love them and they are important.

But when you do your planning (or re-planning) and set your goals, whatever time of the year it may be, it pays to be a bit softer and kinder towards yourself. Start with focusing on the things that make you feel good, peaceful, happy, inspired, abundant and loved. And maybe – just maybe – go a bit slower as well.

From my soul to yours,